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3/30

eat bread or dream choose mother famished & restless his breath all worth it

2/30

he is teaching me to breathe/ to cry without reserve/ everything I am/ he becomes/ he has come here with purpose/ he is greater than me/ this swings my chin upward/ his heaven self/ the way his lungs ring against the walls/ I bow to him/ a master/ showing me silence/ leading me into the arms of myself/ his air is new/ shallow/ quick/ frightened/ he doesn’t yet know/ this life is long/ or maybe it is I with the ignorance/ taking my time to purpose/ to love/ to release ego/ maybe it is his pace I should walk/ be as direct/ food/ rest/ comfort/ love/ he is teaching me to breathe/ in/ out/ hold/ release

re.member this shit

tiggie:

Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good.-Voltaire

(Source: tigistselam)

she feels guilty abt the touching. i dont. we all choose. i chose. here. her. her. him. that. i look at it from a distance. like it happened to sum.one else. i wonder more abt what made him reach out.

what is arousing in purity. in the dew. may.be i still smelled new. like heaven. he wanted to remember the one.ness. god. michael. gabriel.

i remember i was a rocket. blown open from waking. running. laughing. swinging myself like a bell from every neck that wld let me climb. kissing every brown place available to summon joy.

i was in luv w/ them all. same. big. fast. may.be it was too much. he hadnt been loved like this. i remember his mother (vaguely) his grandmother (stroked) i was the same bark color. the same bend & beauty. yet, untainted.

in my eyes, everything he said was perfect, funny, timed w/out effort. a hero daily to be greeted & held. to listen to & to tell.

there was no talking like in tyler stories. no warnings. no sinister nature. just a touching that felt hot & backwards. a sly movement that sent me flying away. not everyday. somedays. not all the time. on time.

i am not angry at the touching. i still let him kiss me on christmas. i keep casual conversation. i want to know more.

what makes u move into the pockets of an 8 year old. what is the nature of that mind. there is so much good in the worst of us. she told me. i want to know the good in the worst. there is so much bad in the best of us. she told me. i want to see what drives us from hell to the backroom.

there is no blk or white. he is no villian. im happy i was unprotected. it allows me to see the gutted eyes & put lite there. it bonds me to the broken.

i am whole in my desire to want to know. want to understand. where does ur mind go after that. do u bend ur knees in shame. do u justify. do u blame.

give me the unknown.

pleasure principle

i stopped writing when i stopped bleeding.

if i write of my joy, will u still luv me?

marta carrasco

“i am fascinated by & respect the world of the unwanted, the unloved, the unaccepted… imperfection has great credibility. it is a world we all have within, it’s just that what is seen is the opposite of this. we are terribly imperfect, but maybe that’s what makes us bearable.”